Love is key to church's mental health ministry, says bishop who lost family to suicide

(OSV News) -- "When the Church speaks tenderly about mental health, people listen," said Bishop John P. Dolan of Phoenix, whose mental health advocacy draws on his lived experience of losing several family members to suicide.

Bishop Dolan delivered two addresses at the "Ministry of Hope Conference," a global Catholic forum on mental health held Nov. 5-7 in Rome, organized by the International Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers with the patronage of the Vatican's Pontifical Academy for Life.

The gathering drew Catholic mental health ministers, clinicians and other experts together for prayer, pastoral discussion and shared reflections to strengthen the Catholic Church's engagement with mental health concerns.

Ahead of the conference, the Diocese of Phoenix collaborated with the Pope's Worldwide Prayer Network -- a pontifical society dedicated to mobilizing global prayer and action to serve the church and humanity -- in producing a video for Pope Leo XIV's November prayer intention, the prevention of suicide.

Along with Pope Leo's prayer that those struggling with suicidal thoughts would find love and support in their communities, the video -- which was released Nov. 4 -- features several staff members from the Diocese of Phoenix's pastoral center. Several segments were filmed at St. Francis of Assisi Mission in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Speaking at the Rome conference's Nov. 5 plenary session, Bishop Dolan offered his personal reflection on Pope Leo's November prayer intention, which he said "touches me personally and deeply."

"I have walked the painful road of suicide loss within my own family," said Bishop Dolan. "I lost my brother Tom, my sisters Terese and Mary, and my brother-in-law Joe to death by suicide."

Such grief is shared by millions. According to the World Health Organization, more than 720,000 people die by suicide annually -- 73% in low- and middle-income countries -- with suicide the third leading cause of death among those ages 15-29. WHO also noted that "for every suicide there are many more people who attempt suicide."

At the Nov. 5 conference session, Bishop Dolan recounted how suicide had wounded both his large Catholic family and his faith over the years. While just 13, he lost his brother Tom, then in prison, to suicide.

In his talk, Bishop Dolan noted, "Looking back, it is likely that he was struggling with an untreated mental-health disorder, but in the 1970s, we didn’t have the language or awareness to name it as such. We simply said he was 'acting irresponsibly.'"

His sister Terese and her husband, Joe, died by suicide during Bishop Dolan's seminary years, with the latter taking his life after learning of his wife's death.

"It was Thanksgiving Day," Bishop Dolan recalled. "The family gathered expecting joy and found only shock and sorrow."

Ahead of his ordination, his younger sister Mary attempted suicide.

"It was then that I began to understand that what we were facing was not moral weakness but an illness affecting our whole family," said Bishop Dolan, adding his experiences of such grief prompted "deep questions about suffering, redemption, and the mystery of the human mind."

Yet the church's presence, even without formal mental health ministries at the time, could nonetheless be discerned, he said.

After his brother Tom's death -- which he later realized sparked the beginning of his call to both the priesthood and mental health ministry -- he "found some comfort" in his parish community, through the "prayer, presence and love" of priests and women religious.

Following the deaths of his sister and brother-in-law, "faith became not an answer but a lifeline," said Bishop Dolan. "Once again, the Church surrounded us through priests, sisters, and parishioners who prayed, who sat in silence, who wept with us. They didn’t diagnose or prescribe. They simply loved. That love became, for me, the most credible sign of God’s mercy."

Upon his appointment as bishop of Phoenix, "one of my first initiatives was to establish an Office for Mental Health Ministry," which was "built upon three simple pillars: education, accompaniment, and advocacy.

"I often tell people: we do not prescribe, we do not diagnose, we do not treat. We love," he said.

During his Nov. 6 conference presentation, Bishop Dolan said that as a result of the ministry, "
nearly every deacon, religious, and most of our priests have received Mental Health First Aid training, along with many lay leaders."

He stressed that the ministry's formation offers not only psychological but theological awareness of mental health, instilling a "doctrine of human development, where psychology and theology meet in humility before the mystery of the person."

Education is a key first step, he said, since "before the Church can heal others, she must understand the human person as a unity of body, mind, and spirit."

Seminarians are also being formed to "integrate emotional health with spiritual maturity," and to regard the approach as "part of becoming shepherds after the heart of Christ," said Bishop Dolan.

Accompaniment flows from such education, he said, through "Well Sessions" -- meeting places in parishes, schools and Catholic outreaches that "allow people to talk openly about grief, anxiety, and loss (including suicide loss) and to find support for loved ones living with mental-health challenges."

The ministry's advocacy efforts have included meetings with Arizona's governor and other elected officials with the aim of expanding mental health education and care in prisons, schools and the wider community. The Diocese of Phoenix has even teamed up with the University of Mary in Bismarck, North Dakota, to enable psychology students to serve internships in diocesan parish schools.

In both his Nov. 5 and 6 talks, Bishop Dolan said that the mission of his diocesan mental health initiative was quickly tested, as his sister Mary -- who after her earlier attempted suicide "continued to struggle for many years" -- took her life two months after the office opened.

"Yet even in that darkness, I sensed that this ministry -- born of suffering -- was also born of grace," said Bishop Dolan in his Nov. 5 address.

"We can say, honestly, 'We understand, because we too have suffered,'" he said in his Nov. 6 talk. "Our grief has not closed us off; it has opened us wide. The Office for Mental Health Ministry is our way of transforming sorrow into solidarity, so that every person (no matter how fragile) knows that they are seen, valued, and loved."