Priest's St. Monica Project helps accompany parents whose children leave the faith

(OSV News) -- Father Jay Buhman still remembers the elderly gentleman he encountered weekly, in the middle of the night, during perpetual Eucharistic adoration. They would greet each other as they switched shifts to pray before Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament and go on their way. But, one day, the man revealed that his daughter had left the Catholic Church.

"I remember him, in the midst of sobs, asking me, 'What can I do? What should I do?'" Father Buhman, a pastor in the Diocese of Lincoln, Nebraska, said, writing about the moment from 15 years ago. "I remember having very little to say except, 'Keep praying for her…'"

He wanted to do something more. And so, five years later around 2015, Father Buhman began The St. Monica Project with the Masses and Tears devotion for parents and others praying for the return of loved ones to the faith. He drew inspiration from St. Monica, a 4th-century Christian mother from North Africa who begged God for the conversion of her son, St. Augustine of Hippo.

"It's a devotion that I created to help parents -- and to encourage parents -- in their prayer for their children to return to the practice of the faith," Father Buhman told OSV News ahead of St. Monica's feast day on Aug. 27. "Just to encourage them, support them, help them, give them something a little more concrete as a way of continuing their prayer."

The devotion created by Father Buhman, pastor of All Saints in Holdrege and St. John in Smithfield, Nebraska, centers around an image of St. Monica by a local artist, a prayer asking for the intercession of St. Monica by Father Buhman, and Masses offered for loved ones who have left the Catholic Church.

This is something many parents struggle with: A Pew Research Center report released earlier this year found that 43% of U.S. adults who were raised Catholic no longer consider themselves religiously Catholic.

Through his project, Father Buhman provides holy cards, note cards, Mass cards, brochures and bulletin inserts with the devotion's image and prayer. Churches and chapels can also request canvas prints of the image. While the faithful can receive these materials free-of-charge, the project welcomes donations to cover the costs of materials and shipping.

Father Buhman also hopes, one day, to build a shrine supporting the devotion.

Looking back, he has no idea if the man he met years ago ever learned of the devotion.

"I just saw in him just real authenticity in regard to his love, both for our Lord and for his daughter," he said, describing the father who had been praying in the middle of the night for 50 years. "Implicit in that was this tremendous desire for her to encounter Jesus."

Father Buhman called the image, which depicts St. Monica before the tabernacle, the heart of the devotion. Drawn in colored pencil, a weeping St. Monica appears barefoot on her knees, wearing drab-colored garments. Brilliant golden rays flowing from the tabernacle interrupt the darkness and envelop her.

"One of the keys to the devotion is to just remind parents that God is working," Father Buhman said, pointing out the rays that symbolize grace. "He's listening and he is working, even if they can't see it."

A local artist, Sondra Jonson of S. L. Jonson Studios in Cambridge, Nebraska, created the image after Father Buhman asked for help.

"I was honored when Fr. Buhman asked me to create the image of St. Monica for Masses & Tears because it's a subject close to my heart. Every mother experiences sorrow," she told OSV News in emailed comments. "We worked through many months and numerous sketches before finally coming up with a design that expresses the outpouring of grace a woman receives in the presence of the Blessed Sacrament, even in her darkest hour."

The devotion is for parents and others praying for their loved ones, Father Buhman stressed.

"The success stories of the devotion itself are not actually in children returning to the practice of the faith," he said. "The success stories are the perseverance of parents who have never given up ... and then grow in holiness by their trust and confidence in God -- and grow in their relationship with the Lord when they see that God did bring that child back."

He pointed to St. Monica as an example.

"I would argue that Monica was a normal, ordinary person and that God actually made her a saint through the prayers and sacrifices and tears that she offered for her son," he said. "Like not only did God bring the son back into the fold and make him one of the greatest saints in the history of the Church, but he made her a saint as well."

"In a sense, this devotion is really focused on the parents and helping them to recognize that a big part of this is their relationship with God," the priest added. "Do they have confidence in him? Do they really believe that he's working in their life and in their child's life?"

In preparing for the devotion, Father Buhman researched St. Monica.

"Monica had a profound relationship with the Lord, and she really wanted that for her son," he said. "It was about the salvation of his soul, but it wasn't just about heaven or hell."

"Returning to the practice of the faith is returning to an encounter with the Lord and a deep relationship with Father, Son and Holy Spirit, who created us for himself," he added. "Monica really conveys that in her life -- and I hope that that's something that also comes out of this devotion."